Not Really Gone
by keep-me-posted
Summary: My alternate take on the ending of the episode, "The Power Inside Her". WARNING: SPOILERS


**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT or any of its characters.

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April clutched at the cold, wet ground, heaving as another sob wracked her small form. The rain pouring down from the sky mimicked the tears running down her cheeks almost mockingly.

It was all her fault. Donnie was gone. Forever. Because of her. The other turtles tried to comfort her, but their attempts to soothe her were in vain.

The pain of watching April continue to pound at the ground - lightly now, as she lost the strength to do anything at this point - quietly mumbling to herself that Donnie was gone (it was her fault he was gone and he was never coming back) must have gotten to the brothers, as she finally heard them shift behind her.

Before walking away with the other turtles, however, Leo knelt down beside the broken teen and nudged her shoulder with some sort of soaked material.

She dared looked up and caught sight of Donnie's mask wrapped in Leo's hand. She carefully pulled it from his fingers and clutched it to her chest, sobbing again.

With her defenses down for a moment, Leo took this opportunity and tucked one arm under her legs and one arm behind her back. He nodded to the others and carried April back to the lair.

When April woke up, she was lying on the couch in the turtles lair. Her face was dry, but the evidence of the previous downpour was still there in her semi-damp hair and clothes.

She must have passed out after being carried out of the rain, but judging by the still wet state of her hair and clothes, she couldn't have been sleeping for more than a couple hours.

She held her head with the hand still clutching tightly to the purple fabric and looked around the room.

Several pairs of quiet, pained eyes looked back at her.

"April, are you okay?"

"No," She frowned, stubbornly. She would never be okay. Never again. She got up from the couch and headed for Donnie's lab.

Casey immediately got up to follow her, but Leo held him back. "Let her go."

Being inside Donnie's lab had the exact effect April was expecting and she found herself quietly sobbing as her free hand traced over his desk, his computer, some random tools that had been left scattered about in a lazy manner...

She fell back into his swivel chair and bent forward, elbows on her knees, as she let her fingers linger over the purple fabric still in her hands.

"Oh, Donnie," She sniffed, tears brimming in her eyes. "I am so sorry."

She wondered, somehow, if he could her hear. If he could see her. She had never given much thought to the afterlife before, but with Donnie gone, she almost hoped there was such a thing. She hoped he was okay, wherever he was. She hoped he would eventually forgive her for what she had done.

She closed her eyes then, freely letting the tears pour from her eyes and down her cheeks. She stubbornly tried to blink them away, before giving up and using her sleeve, making sure her to keep her tainted tears away from Donnie's mask.

When she could see properly again, for the most part anyway, she noticed a slight shimmer coming off one corner of the mask.

Terrified that she had ruined the last thing that had touched Donnie, she leaned forward and carefully brushed at the dust.

It lingered on her fingers, almost like it was holding onto her. She delicately rubbed the dust-like substance between her fingers and a strange warmth went through her.

April closed her eyes. After everything that happened, she silently promised herself she wouldn't ever use her mind powers again. But whatever this was, it seemed to be calling out to her.

She focused all her energy on those tiny bits still dancing on her fingertips, when suddenly her eyes popped open. "Donnie!"

It was Donnie! Well...part of Donnie. His particles. He wasn't dead! He was just...separated. And if she focused carefully, maybe she could...

She squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her fingers tightly around the purple cloth, imagining Donnie. Millions of thoughts ran through her head, playing like a slideshow in her mind.

Memory after memory of Donnie. Donnie fighting, Donnie working, Donnie laughing, Donnie smiling...Donnie smiling _at her._

Her mind relaxed and the particles that hovered around her hand moved forward by a random force. When she opened her eyes, he was there. Really there. Solid, complete, a little confused, maybe...but there.

"Donnie." She sighed out his name, a small, cautious smile on her face.

"April?"

He walked towards her slowly, carefully. When he was only a few inches away, she stopped him by raising her palm.

He looked nervous for a moment, but didn't move. April placed her hand on his chest and let out a breath she had unknowingly been holding. Yes, it wasn't a hallucination. He really was back.

She looked up at him, the tears back in her eyes.

"April..."

She muted him then, her lips pressing firmly against his. She had startled him, she could tell by the way his body froze under her touch, before his arms wrapped around her in order to keep himself upright.

She had meant to be more careful with her movements, but she was still terrified this was all just an illusion, that he could disappear again at any second.

He pulled away from the kiss when she began crying again. He lightly shushed her, rubbing her back in attempt to soothe her. She almost laughed. Donnie was the one who almost died and she was the one being comforted.

"You were gone," She mumbled into his chest. "And it was my fault. I didn't mean to-"

He shushed her again, as soothingly as possible.

"I'm so sorry." April wrapped her arms tightly around the turtle, too afraid to let go.

"It's alright," He promised, in that perfect voice of his. "It's okay. I'm here now, because of you."

April blinked, pulling back just enough to look up at him. She was certain Donnie didn't know how she brought him back, heck she still wasn't completely sure, but somehow he still realized he was back because of her.

He smiled at her and a suddenly realization struck her. "Oh, I have something that belongs to you."

She regretfully pulled away from him and brought his mask, still draped in her palm, into view. Silently, Donnie bent down to her level, allowing her to tie his mask back in place.

"There," She smiled, sniffing through her almost dried tears. " _Now_ you're back."

He smiled back at her and opened up his mouth to say something back when-

"Donnie?" Raph called from the open doorway.

"Donnie!" Mikey cried, running ahead of his other brothers to wrap the genius turtle in a tight hug. The rest of the group, Casey included, quickly followed, joining in on the hug.

After what felt like several minutes, they pulled away.

"How?" Leo asked simply, as all other words seem to escape him.

Donnie looked over at April, who gave a meek shrug.

"I guess I...was never really gone," He simply said.


End file.
